You have the wrong IM, please hang up and try again

Remember Bill? The guy who spent a week in fast-forward, sending three or four emails to my one? “Should we talk? Should we chat? Huh? Should we? Should we?”

I thought he had ADD or worse… was on speed. We had gone to lunch about three weeks ago and he seemed nervous, but not nervous in a shifty way, just nervous like he was on a first date. And he kissed me outside the restaurant, a little sheepishly, and then texted me all afternoon. Then everything went dead. A week later, I emailed him, asking if I was supposed to be the one to email first. If I was here it is. Still nothing.

Today I logged on to my Yahoo IM, which I don’t normally use but I go on from time to time to see if anyone has left me a message, and he sent me a message shortly after.

Bill: Hi!!!!
TODP: Hey how are you?
Bill: I’ve been good. You?
TODP: Things are good here.

I thought this was just a friendly hello, but after a few more rounds of small talk:

Bill: So, where do I know you from? Refresh my memory.

Hmmm. I don’t remember ever firing up my buddy list and talking randomly to people whose screen names I’ve forgotten. FROM THREE WEEKS AGO.

The game kicked ass! The date, not so much

After the speed-dating version of email, I established that the guy I picked to go to the game was pretty harmless.

To: Lewis
From: TODP
Subject: hockey game

Wow, who knew this would actually work!

You didn’t mention your height… I’m almost 5′9; I feel a little
self-conscious towering over a guy. It’s my one little vanity thing.

I’m 34, have two young ones. I don’t actually live in [Xxxxxxx], but
that’s where I would be dropping off my daughter, and it’s closer to the
arena than where I am now anyway.

I’ve never understood the wisdom behind raking leaves. Just leave them
be!!!

Attached is a pic. I assume you’ll be able to produce a recent
background check, two proofs of residency, a social security card, birth
certificate and PADI certification upon request.

Let me know if you’re still interested.

Maddie

To: TODP
From: Lewis
Subject: Re: hockey game

Hi Maddie,

Yes, I’m still interested. I did forget to mention my height. Sorry.
My driver’s license says I’m 5′10, but I think that may be a fib. I
don’t know how that happened! I’m just about 5′9. My fall/winter
wardrobe usually involves some sort of boot. I’ll wear the ones that give
me a little extra elevation.

Tell me where to pick you up and what time.

I’ll bring my FBI file.

Lewis

We talked a lot to and at the game, constantly almost, though neither of us seemed really keen on romance. But Lewis was a nice guy, a little skinny for me and quite possibly a hair shorter than me, dammit. If it wasn’t for the game itself, it would have been a very bland evening.