Second date

Josh is coming for dinner Wednesday. I talked him into my pot roast instead of the take-out Chinese he suggested. I can’t say I’m enthusiastic about it.

But he is. I don’t know why. So I’m interested in seeing why.

I think I’m still hung up on my recent ex. Not to the point that Josh is, talking incessantly about it to anyone who will listen. And it’s been four years for him.

Last time I was hung up on an ex, it was very ugly, and I started seeing a therapist, who told me to GET OUT THERE AND MEET PEOPLE.

I’m pretty sure she meant men, because after I picked her out of the phone book I discovered she was actually a sex therapist, and asked me direct questions like, “How do you feel about blow jobs?” Not fellatio, not oral sex…

But last time dating actually worked. I quickly forgot about that ex. And I mean quickly. And then I met Tom.

I think the difference this time is Tom, the guy I recently split with, is a really nice guy, and he is still a really nice guy, and I measure new dates to him. The other guy? Total fucking asshole. It took a sex therapist to see that and steer me on my way.

Soooooo… this afternoon I had an appointment with a different therapist. One I have been seeing since I decided the sex therapist wasn’t exactly what I was needing right now, seeing as I didn’t have much of a sex life.

I won’t rehash the whole episode, except to say, I miss everything about Tom, from the way he talked to my children, to the way he gestured during TV shows, to the way he fucked me, to the way he parallel parked his minivan, to the way his deoderant smelled. I didn’t date him very long, a handful of months, but I think I am still very much in love with him, and this whole experiment is making that ever more apparent.

So is it fair to keep going with dating? Do I need more time to regroup?

My good friend jokes that the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.

I guess if I handle it in a lighter manner, I’ll be better at it.