Work! Sucks!!!!!

I have been so busy with work that I haven’t had much time to attend to my dating life. I took a half hour the other day to just email my potential responses and tell them that I would potentially be responding to them. I did email my Kris, the CEO/prof guy, and I emailed a guy named Keith, who responded eagerly with an email littered with the dreaded exclamation point and iffy space bar:

To: TODP
From: Keith
Subject: Re: Hi there!

Good Morning!!

I understand busy!! You don’t have to write your’ life story…lol I like to tent camp from time to time! Usually when we take the boat to the lake.I like the camp grounds there but,still a pain setting all that up!

I left home when I was 18 an went into the Navy! I moved around quite a bit.. As mucg as I disliked it then,I look back on it and think it wasn’t such a bad move! Went to alot of places I may have never seen?? Spend most of my time in the Carribbean! We did do a Med. cruise and then I got out so I was glad to have done that!!!

I am originally from here and actually live in the house I grew up in!! My parents vacated to Arizona..It’s been nice being back I always enjoyed this state and the people here are much more at face value!!! Plus, it’s alot cooler and I always missed the season s changing down there!! Didn’t care too much for the southern part of Florida. Would prefer the pan handle or Sarasota, even Tampa’s not too bad!! The whole state seems to a huge rat race from when I lived there!!!

Well,I should get off of here and get ready for my inspector!! It’s almost time!!

Take Care,
Keith

Holy! Crap! Wasn’t that! Intense!

And the nominees are…

Lucas called me tonight while I was rifling through responses to my newest online ad. What fucking timing.

I started to feel like a girlfriend looking to get out… that I should break it off with him before pursuing this… and then I reminded myself: I’M DATING. This is all part of it. He has potential, and I’m still letting him be in on the game. It is not necessary or prudent to tell him about the rest of my plays.

Some of the responses I’ve gotten from the ad:

From John:
I’m a capricorn (dec) didn’t realize that was a must to be a leo. When’s your birthday…I have a present 4 you

I googled this guy’s email address… holy shit, he is listed on every dating site known to man, including ones written in French and some outside the U.S. If he can’t get a date in his own back yard, he ain’t getting one with me.

From Dave:
Hi’ I’am 6′1″205 althletic build broad shoulder’s,stay in shape work on all my vehicle’s.Laid back great sense of humor.Hate to fight,open door’s for my lady.Like to bargain shop clothes, food an like to cook just for 2.I heated my house with 2 wood burner’s.Have every tool you can think of .Just a all around good guy. Handsome also,clean cut.Play well with other’s.Age 44,don’t smoke,drink or do drug’s.Don’t like drama,negative people.Take care

Shoulder’s? Vehicle’s? Door’s? Someone needs to tell Dave he’s possessed. And that his computer likely has a space bar. And that he needs a drink.

From Paul:
Hello!
I am single 36 no kids.
I am 6’ tall 170 lbs blondish short hair clean cut with hazel eyes.
I love to play pool and darts. Dive bars are way more fun!
I love to cook and recently remodeled my kitchen.
Lets chat.

“Lets.” I still took the bait.

From Robert:
maybe you found him

I found a profile for this guy, and he is not only a “Hardware Technition,” but he is “finally seperated from the bitch.” Think I’ll pass on that. I (heart) Google.

From John:
Looking
Well you have found your leo, do you put your own worm on the hook? You answer determines my interest…..
You can not look as much as an ass on the driving range as me.

Mention golf and any idiot will answer. “You” grammar determines my interest.

From Joey:
Well lets see, was born aug 7, 1975. So that makes me a leo, also makes me 32. Love to sleep in on saturdays, then again love to sleep in everyday cause i work steady 3-11’s. But let me just stop there, if u would like me to keep going let me know

YAWN. I graduated from that work schedule many years ago.

From David:
Do you mean you are looking for a Leo as in the astrological sign or a Leo as in DiCaprio? If the first is your choice, I may just fit the bill of what you are looking for. I’ll gladly share more if you like, including a pic, but can I ask a question first? If you are looking for a Leo (sign) why? Why a Leo?

Took the bait on this one too. Anyone who asks me a question is fair game.

From Ron:
could u send a pic of yourself i will send one in return.

This guy emails me every time I put up an ad. I take it he’s still not found a girlfriend. I take it there’s a reason for that.

From Craig:
Hello,
I read your’ post and thought I’d respond!!! I’m late 30’s 37 to be exact! In shape,drink socially, love the outdoors and have my life together!! I’m not a spam bott and am for real. I would love to just have one person that’s for real respond on here??? I’m just looking for someone new to befriend and see where it goes! I don’t need a fwb or have any desires to play any stupid games!!! So, please just be normal and respond!!1 LOL

I am normal, and I was so hoping for a spam bot. Not much hope here. What the hell is a fwb?

From Louis:
written to perfection. bravo , reply and ill lay mine on you

Lay it on me, Lou. Don’t work too hard on the typing skillz.

Taking another shot

After finishing up a weekend with Lucas, I just thought I would throw this ad out there, back to my roots of non-paid-for dating ads:

Looking for my Leo

He’s in his mid to late 30s, early 40s, enjoys kids, maybe has kids, is funny and looks after his health. He can leave his work at work, sleep late on Saturdays, start a campfire, change his own oil.

He’s looking for a smart woman, professional, laid back. Someone who can pitch darts at a dive bar, cook a great Sunday dinner, make an ass of herself at a driving range, keeps her fishing license up-to-date.

I kept it simple. I think it’s a little close-minded, too detailed, but at the same time, I’ve never dated a Leo, and what better way to try than combing through anonymous emails of men who AREN’T Leos??

Understanding

Well…..

I emailed Kris back and told him I’d be up for getting together, let me know what he had in mind. Then a week of checking my email every few hours, and nothing from him. I’m not surprised, just disappointed. I guess if anything, I hope he’s found someone else and is happy, because he seemed like a pretty neat guy.

Lucas and I spent a lot of time together this week. I am sure he considers me his girlfriend. For Valentine’s Day, he gave me a gift certificate to a spa, which was pretty nice. He pays for most of our outings, even though I offer and manage to intercept a check once in a while. I guess what bugs me the most is that when we break up, he’ll think all that money spent wasn’t worth it!

I just can’t help the lack of feelings I have for him. I’ve tried to convince myself that a really nice guy is exactly what I deserve… but there’s something that’s just not there, even though the sex is fantastic. I find myself picking the side of the table at restaurants so I have a good view of the crowd and while he is rambling away, I am checking out the room.

When my last boyfriend dumped me and said, “I just never loved you,” I was furious. But now I understand the situation he was in.

Finally, some action

My prof/consultant/CEO interest is apparently right in my back yard. Quite possibly, literally.

To: Kris
From: TODP
Subject: Re:

I live just up the road from the post office. Do you golf? Because I get a TON of golf balls in my back yard from your neighborhood!!!

Maddie

To: TODP
From: Kris
Subject: Re: Re:

Hi Maddie,

You live like a mile or so from me!  Hopefully none of those golf balls are mine!  Would you like to chat on the phone or meet for a drink sometime?

Kris

It appears I’ve just been asked out on a date. Holy freakin’ crap. This never ceases to amaze me.

I’m gonna sleep on this.

Where have all my morals gone?

All of a sudden… I have a second, third, fourth communication in my little online dating world!!

Are these guys gearing up for Valentine’s Day, or what?

One guy seemed really interesting, lives near me… and we volleyed back and forth a bit, with me asking most of the questions, him answering, me giving my answer to my own questions and asking him more questions.

This grew really tiring.

He never gave me his name, even though I gave him mine… and seemed rather elusive in some of his responses… I gave him my email address but he continued to email me through the service. Oh, and he gave me the same old line I’ve heard dozens of times: “I’m new to this.”

Yeah.

One of the other guys who made contact was, in my opinion, way too young for me, and another is someone who must have forgotten he contacted me a month ago, when I politely declined to communicate with him then.

I did get a message or two from the guy who caught my eye the other night though. He doesn’t have a pic posted, so I don’t know what he even looks like.

I’m not necessarily looking for excitement in a relationship, though in my last post I said Lucas was boring… I know that the prospect of a budding relationship is full of great feelings… but what I’m looking for is stability, familiarity, CHEMISTRY. And I’m looking for a man who takes charge in all the right ways… the right ways for me. I want to parent my children and run my life, but I don’t want to feel superior to a man. I want someone who will step up and be rock solid, who won’t bully or patronize me.

Lucas offers some of that, but fleetingly. For the most part he is just too eager to please me, and it’s not a quality I find endearing unless it’s coming from my kids!

I think I have pretty much decided to explore. I don’t want to hurt Lucas, and I don’t want to throw away my chances with him. I just don’t know. I think if I were completely honest with him, he’d allow himself to be strung along, and I’d have even less respect for him.

I didn’t know it was possible to find a guy who was TOO sensitive and attentive. Lucas was in a horrible marriage for six-plus years, married his wife only because he knocked her up and it was the “right thing” to do; I would have thought he’d be at least a little calloused. Or cautious. Or more mature. Or SOMETHING.

He must have gotten laid a lot during his marriage though, because even when I don’t feel emotionally connected to him, he can really turn it on.

Crossroads

I haven’t written for a while because there wasn’t much to write about.

I’ve been seeing Lucas. He’s a good guy, great guy even, but I’ve been keeping at bay getting our kids together. I just… I’m just not sure about him. The sex is great, I enjoy his company, but I have some kind of hangup I can’t put into words.

I am still signed on with one of the online dating sites I joined. My online exploits have been very quiet, but the other day, I got a message from a man who turns out to live very near me and we’ve been communicating. Compared to Lucas, he’s more ambitious, more successful.

I feel some guilt… Lucas is so very into me, and I like him a lot. But after a couple months of seeing him, I just don’t see long-term prospects. I try not to be judgmental, but he seems to be well below me in the area of professional, emotional and educational advancement.

So, I’m faced with the decision of moving on or sticking it out.

I don’t know if I should do a little dating on the sly, or make a break and spare him from whatever. We haven’t really talked about the status or our relationship or agreed to be exclusive, but I get the feeling he thinks I am it for him.

I almost broke up with him recently, before the communication with the new guy, but I chickened out and have not been entirely unhappy with him. I told him some of my concerns, and it seems he is very eager to please me and made many changes. Which…. well, that is something I’m not used to. If someone were to tell me he was unhappy with XY and Z, I would tell him to take a hike.

I want to be honest. But this is only a remote possibility with this other guy. Part of me thinks, if I am thinking this way, I should probably give Lucas the truth, but at the same time, I just don’t know about him, maybe he could be a great prospect and I’m just being self-absorbed.

I think I owe it to myself to explore, lest I have regrets, but I just don’t know how to proceed. I have a nice, wonderful, boring guy on my hands, a guy who I impress by cooking a mere meatloaf, a good-hearted guy who manages a retail store, or the option to explore something a little more challenging: A CEO-consultant-professor without kids who lives in a neighborhood I could never afford to live in.

FUCK. ME.