I (heart) smartasses

To: TODP
From: Parker Endareer
Subject: read the fine print

Im not sure how reply to your ad.

It was very funny, and you must be my Ex. cause you described me perfectly.

if you are real, and serious, you may reply, ill let you.

so how old are you?

To: Parker Endareer
From: TODP
Subject: Re: read the fine print

I’m so glad you let me reply.

What the hell kind of name is Parker Endareer??? What are you, like 12? LOL

I’m 34. I am real. Last I checked.

To: TODP
From: Parker Endareer
Subject: Re: read the fine print

im am 12 plus a few… lol.

so you like that name? took me a while to come up with it… I needed something to use that didnt include my real name, i usually read the classified for giggles. Ive never talk to a REAL person before, haha guess you could say your my first, haha

So what made you come up with such an interesting post? it was well written, and very descriptive.

To: Parker Endareer
From: TODP
Subject: Re: read the fine print

I almost didn’t answer because of the name. But then I thought, what the hell. Points for creativity.

What made me come up with such an interesting post? Well, it’s not hard to top the crap that’s on there, LOL. Why did I even write a post? Hey, we all make mistakes when we’re drunk!!

Actually, I’m in a good place in life and happy… thought I’d put myself out there and see what stuck. So tell me about yourself, Parker.

Maddie

To: TODP
From: Parker Endareer
Subject: Re: read the fine print

Maddie,

Well I “Parker Endareer” am the alter ego of… hahaha im kidding!

Well im not certain what to tell ya, im  sorta floored that there is really a REAL human in the personal ads. im sure its been heard before that “I just read the personals for the entertainment” but its actually true, i was linked to them from a forum for a best of in the classifieds section, i was rather, well, entertained to say the least. I then decided to snoop thru the others when i found that the majority of the posts were just spam, thats when i can across yours.

…A little about myself:
I am 30, live north of the city, I have 2 beautiful boys (3, and 4) their mother and I get along on occasion, but most of the times rarely.
I have my own store now for almost 3 years which has its perks, but also has its shortcomings.

Im kinda married to my Business, and devoted to my kids, everything else seems to find a place to fall, but usually not where i intended it to, haha

Im a textaholic, an intwebaholic, and a IMaholic, i rarley make a phone call, but seem to spend the majority of time on the phone

…Alittle about myself,  “Physical Description”-
I am a Tall 5′10″, a young 30, (most people guess me to be 22) short brown hair, brown eyes and a staggering 145lbs, haha
I spend alot of time in the mirror, i just feel comfortable there i guess.

I like to laugh, and make people laugh, i guess i always feel its my job to lighten things up when i see them getting gray, on occasion its a good move, other times people think im just being an ass.
I hunt, camp, fish, ( sorry i enjoy killing helpless defenseless animals…) I am mildly into sports, mostly Hockey, and sometimes football, I hate soccer, baseball, basketball, and golf which is not a spot.
Id rather sit down watch TV with a few beers at home than head out to the bar.

Contrary to my alter ego, i in fact DO NOT like putting things in rear ends…

So anyways, thats my story, and im sticking to it… (/song quote)

hope you enjoyed my rantings.
write back if youd like, (i guess i’ll let you again …)
tell me a little about you as well if you do reply!

To: Parker Endareer
From: TODP
Subject: Re: read the fine print

Greetings, once again, Parker…

Yeah, I, um, read the personal ads for entertainment too. Yeah.

Actually, I have moved around a bit lately and have used online classifieds for moving boxes, finding sitters… all sorts of stuff. I wandered into the personals and thought the ads were so freakin’ lame. Surely I could do better.

I have gotten a number of responses that says simply, “Are you real?” Um…. as far as I can tell….

Anyway, I’m 34, 5′8, average everything, except the chest, I’ll let you guess about that, blonde hair… got a couple of rugrats, one is 6 and the other will be 1 next month. I moved to [Xxxxxxx] in April… I love it here. I lived in Florida for almost 10 years and moved back not too long ago.

I like to fish, camp… I don’t think I could kill anything but the few times I’ve done target shooting I enjoyed it. (The first time I shot a gun I was probably 10, and my dad handed me a shotgun… I wondered why he was giggling until the thing nearly tore my shoulder off. Sick man, my dad!) I like to watch football, shoot darts, I’m OK at pool, those are the only reasons to go to a bar, right? I enjoy candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach and… oh wait, that belongs in someone else’s personal ad.

Realizing that all sounds totally redneck, I should add that I do have a full set of teeth. I could go on and on about how great I am, but I’ll let you get a word in edgewise.

What’s your business? Do you enjoy being married to it? Does it get pissed if it catches you on a date?

I think I really like this guy and his banter. I’m hit and miss in the age department though… most have been a little old or a little young. But it’s just a conversation, right?