And the nominees are…

Lucas called me tonight while I was rifling through responses to my newest online ad. What fucking timing.

I started to feel like a girlfriend looking to get out… that I should break it off with him before pursuing this… and then I reminded myself: I’M DATING. This is all part of it. He has potential, and I’m still letting him be in on the game. It is not necessary or prudent to tell him about the rest of my plays.

Some of the responses I’ve gotten from the ad:

From John:
I’m a capricorn (dec) didn’t realize that was a must to be a leo. When’s your birthday…I have a present 4 you

I googled this guy’s email address… holy shit, he is listed on every dating site known to man, including ones written in French and some outside the U.S. If he can’t get a date in his own back yard, he ain’t getting one with me.

From Dave:
Hi’ I’am 6′1″205 althletic build broad shoulder’s,stay in shape work on all my vehicle’s.Laid back great sense of humor.Hate to fight,open door’s for my lady.Like to bargain shop clothes, food an like to cook just for 2.I heated my house with 2 wood burner’s.Have every tool you can think of .Just a all around good guy. Handsome also,clean cut.Play well with other’s.Age 44,don’t smoke,drink or do drug’s.Don’t like drama,negative people.Take care

Shoulder’s? Vehicle’s? Door’s? Someone needs to tell Dave he’s possessed. And that his computer likely has a space bar. And that he needs a drink.

From Paul:
Hello!
I am single 36 no kids.
I am 6’ tall 170 lbs blondish short hair clean cut with hazel eyes.
I love to play pool and darts. Dive bars are way more fun!
I love to cook and recently remodeled my kitchen.
Lets chat.

“Lets.” I still took the bait.

From Robert:
maybe you found him

I found a profile for this guy, and he is not only a “Hardware Technition,” but he is “finally seperated from the bitch.” Think I’ll pass on that. I (heart) Google.

From John:
Looking
Well you have found your leo, do you put your own worm on the hook? You answer determines my interest…..
You can not look as much as an ass on the driving range as me.

Mention golf and any idiot will answer. “You” grammar determines my interest.

From Joey:
Well lets see, was born aug 7, 1975. So that makes me a leo, also makes me 32. Love to sleep in on saturdays, then again love to sleep in everyday cause i work steady 3-11’s. But let me just stop there, if u would like me to keep going let me know

YAWN. I graduated from that work schedule many years ago.

From David:
Do you mean you are looking for a Leo as in the astrological sign or a Leo as in DiCaprio? If the first is your choice, I may just fit the bill of what you are looking for. I’ll gladly share more if you like, including a pic, but can I ask a question first? If you are looking for a Leo (sign) why? Why a Leo?

Took the bait on this one too. Anyone who asks me a question is fair game.

From Ron:
could u send a pic of yourself i will send one in return.

This guy emails me every time I put up an ad. I take it he’s still not found a girlfriend. I take it there’s a reason for that.

From Craig:
Hello,
I read your’ post and thought I’d respond!!! I’m late 30’s 37 to be exact! In shape,drink socially, love the outdoors and have my life together!! I’m not a spam bott and am for real. I would love to just have one person that’s for real respond on here??? I’m just looking for someone new to befriend and see where it goes! I don’t need a fwb or have any desires to play any stupid games!!! So, please just be normal and respond!!1 LOL

I am normal, and I was so hoping for a spam bot. Not much hope here. What the hell is a fwb?

From Louis:
written to perfection. bravo , reply and ill lay mine on you

Lay it on me, Lou. Don’t work too hard on the typing skillz.

Where have all my morals gone?

All of a sudden… I have a second, third, fourth communication in my little online dating world!!

Are these guys gearing up for Valentine’s Day, or what?

One guy seemed really interesting, lives near me… and we volleyed back and forth a bit, with me asking most of the questions, him answering, me giving my answer to my own questions and asking him more questions.

This grew really tiring.

He never gave me his name, even though I gave him mine… and seemed rather elusive in some of his responses… I gave him my email address but he continued to email me through the service. Oh, and he gave me the same old line I’ve heard dozens of times: “I’m new to this.”

Yeah.

One of the other guys who made contact was, in my opinion, way too young for me, and another is someone who must have forgotten he contacted me a month ago, when I politely declined to communicate with him then.

I did get a message or two from the guy who caught my eye the other night though. He doesn’t have a pic posted, so I don’t know what he even looks like.

I’m not necessarily looking for excitement in a relationship, though in my last post I said Lucas was boring… I know that the prospect of a budding relationship is full of great feelings… but what I’m looking for is stability, familiarity, CHEMISTRY. And I’m looking for a man who takes charge in all the right ways… the right ways for me. I want to parent my children and run my life, but I don’t want to feel superior to a man. I want someone who will step up and be rock solid, who won’t bully or patronize me.

Lucas offers some of that, but fleetingly. For the most part he is just too eager to please me, and it’s not a quality I find endearing unless it’s coming from my kids!

I think I have pretty much decided to explore. I don’t want to hurt Lucas, and I don’t want to throw away my chances with him. I just don’t know. I think if I were completely honest with him, he’d allow himself to be strung along, and I’d have even less respect for him.

I didn’t know it was possible to find a guy who was TOO sensitive and attentive. Lucas was in a horrible marriage for six-plus years, married his wife only because he knocked her up and it was the “right thing” to do; I would have thought he’d be at least a little calloused. Or cautious. Or more mature. Or SOMETHING.

He must have gotten laid a lot during his marriage though, because even when I don’t feel emotionally connected to him, he can really turn it on.